Thank you, But I’m Free Now: My Peace With My Past Selves

To the versions of me who learned to run, who learned to numb, and who learned to survive:

I honor you. I thank you.
But I am free now.

Monday I woke up and made a transformational statement: I don’t want to be her anymore. It wasn’t disrespect to the “her” I was referencing; however it was a release of responsibility. My final exhale that said, “I don’t have to carry the weight of who I had to be in the moments I didn’t know any better.”

Because I did know how to survive.
And I did know how to keep going.
And while survival is sacred work, it’s not who I am anymore. I realized I had been living in conversations with outdated versions of myself. The versions who still flinched, still apologized for taking up space, still believed peace had to be earned, and joy had to be justified.

But that morning, something shifted.
For the first time, I felt ready—truly ready—to honor the version of me who built the bridge I was finally about to walk across.

This is my peace with my past selves:
I do not resent you.
I will not abandon you.
But I will not become you again.

You were the keeper of my wounds,
the holder of my stories,
the guardian of my broken places.

But I am free now.
Free to think new thoughts.
Free to answer new callings.
Free to speak with a voice that no longer trembles.
Free to love myself without attempting to earn it.

I take only the wisdom, not the weight.
Only the lessons, not the identity.
Only the truth, not the trauma.

I realized that through all the revelations I received over the years, I never truly honored who I was. I thought I had released a lot at the time, but I found myself revisiting it and concerned that I was still entertaining past previews. I almost slipped into a loop of wishing I’d made different choices and reminiscing on narratives I no longer have the power to change.

All because forging forward required me to be courageous in my belief of myself, and in this new path that is more unknown than ever before. But I caught myself with grace. And instead of falling into an old self-pity party, I decided a farewell was more fitting. I corrected my heart because my soul is more excited now than I could’ve imagined a year ago. That alone was a reason to fully let go of any string and story attached to my past self.

I had to embrace my wisdom simply because I passed so many tests designed to destroy me. Why would I stand in strength now and still marinate on what couldn’t defeat me before? 2025 granted me the wings I always dreamed of as a little girl, and what better time to fly?

Today I honor every part of me that fought to keep my heart beating. I honor the girl who endured, the woman who rose, and the soul who never stopped listening for God in the quiet. I honor them by letting them rest. By letting myself become whatever this transition is currently molding. Because freedom is more than walking away from what broke you…
it’s walking toward what’s finally aligned.

And as I step into this next chapter, I do so knowing one truth above all:

I am no longer bound to the story of who I used to be.

I am the author now.
I am the altar now.
I am the free one. 

Journal Prompts for Moving Forward

 

1. Who is the version of me I am choosing to become now?
Describe them in detail: their energy, habits, boundaries, voice, and way of being.

2. What beliefs, patterns, or identities no longer fit who I’m becoming?
List them without judgment. Let them know you’re releasing them with love.

3. What wisdom did my past selves pass down to me that I get to keep?
Identify the gifts, the strength, the awareness, the resilience.

4. What weight am I still carrying that does not belong to me anymore?
Name it. Acknowledge who it once protected. Then affirm that you can put it down.

5. In what areas of my life am I still reacting from an outdated version of myself?
Where do you still shrink, apologize, or brace for harm? Explore why and what the new you would do instead.

6. What does freedom feel like in my body right now?
Describe the sensations: breath, posture, emotions, imagery, colors, or energy.

7. How can I honor my past selves without becoming them again?
Write a vow to yourself about how you will move forward.

8. What new thoughts am I ready to practice?
Choose thoughts that align with the version of yourself you’re growing into.

9. What conversations am I no longer available for internally or externally?
Name them. This is a boundary-setting moment.

10. What am I ready to receive now that I am no longer in survival mode?
Love? Ease? Clarity? Devotion? Expansion? Be bold.